It has been a month since my brother's accident. So many things has happened since then. I can just summed it up as bittersweet. Never it occurred to me that our lives are going to change 180 degree the day of the accident. Never it occurred to me that my step father (despite my hostility toward him) has proven to be a good father after all. Although I often feels that he's always wasn't there for us at the time we needed him the most. That's one of the things I can't really verbalize it to Mum. The same thing when I wanted to apologize to Mum. I guess it's harder when it comes to your loved ones.
Mum had told me that when he received the text message about my brother's accident he nearly lost control of his car and came closed to accident himself. He went straight to the hospital to see us after that. I was touched the most since no one ever showed that they cared about the three of us for a long time. Not even Dad, not even Mum's family. I was deeply touched by my step dad's simple gesture.
I hated him when I learned that Mum was going to marry him in the early of 2000. I was devastated. It is because to me at that time no one can replace Dad. I was so convince of that because after years been brain washed by Dad when he kept telling me that Mum was an evil woman and that she deserves to be ill treated by everybody around her. Looking back Dad never changed. He's always with his theory that the world owes him and everybody has to respect him instead of him respecting others. It's a by-product of living in the past. Thinking that he's family is rich and demands the best service from everybody.
I'm not dissing my own flesh and blood. What I'm trying to say is that life is hard. Full of responsibility and that one has to accept it and embrace for all of us are in the same ship. Trying hard to survive. That is why Dad had refuse to see it that way. He thinks that he did not have to work so hard to earn a living. And that job was taken care by my mother. What gives? For 15 years she gave in to Dad's needs. All the tears and fears, the shouts and such I could still remember it vividly although it has been locked away in the ends of my mind. The wound still there and deep. Hopefully it won't open any sooner or never.
Nevertheless, my dislike toward my step father has ceased. What's left is the feeling of love and respect for him. It is indeed a blessing in disguise that Mum had married him in the first place. I never thought he would care like a father should. I thank God for His blessings in the times of difficulty in our Home. I'm truly happy and thankful for it.
Mum had told me that when he received the text message about my brother's accident he nearly lost control of his car and came closed to accident himself. He went straight to the hospital to see us after that. I was touched the most since no one ever showed that they cared about the three of us for a long time. Not even Dad, not even Mum's family. I was deeply touched by my step dad's simple gesture.
I hated him when I learned that Mum was going to marry him in the early of 2000. I was devastated. It is because to me at that time no one can replace Dad. I was so convince of that because after years been brain washed by Dad when he kept telling me that Mum was an evil woman and that she deserves to be ill treated by everybody around her. Looking back Dad never changed. He's always with his theory that the world owes him and everybody has to respect him instead of him respecting others. It's a by-product of living in the past. Thinking that he's family is rich and demands the best service from everybody.
I'm not dissing my own flesh and blood. What I'm trying to say is that life is hard. Full of responsibility and that one has to accept it and embrace for all of us are in the same ship. Trying hard to survive. That is why Dad had refuse to see it that way. He thinks that he did not have to work so hard to earn a living. And that job was taken care by my mother. What gives? For 15 years she gave in to Dad's needs. All the tears and fears, the shouts and such I could still remember it vividly although it has been locked away in the ends of my mind. The wound still there and deep. Hopefully it won't open any sooner or never.
Nevertheless, my dislike toward my step father has ceased. What's left is the feeling of love and respect for him. It is indeed a blessing in disguise that Mum had married him in the first place. I never thought he would care like a father should. I thank God for His blessings in the times of difficulty in our Home. I'm truly happy and thankful for it.
1 RanT$:
may god help u to be stronger..amin
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