Wedding Bells

I would like to share an experience that has happened to me for quite sometime. I find it very funny when a friend of mine contacted me one day asking me when is the 'BIG' day coming up. So playing along, I just mentioned to him that I might be getting engaged soon. Hinting that I might get married in the near future. I guess the story didn't stop there when another ex-colleague of mine started to contact me. I knew something was amiss because all of this happened out of the blue. I mean since when they care anyway? I knew by the way he was asking the ususal questions-very boring and then he pops the question. Tired of people keep on asking the same question so I told him I will send out the wedding invitation cards soon enough. And true enough, he's indeed was prying about me and my LOVE life.

Thinking about it, I am having fun at tripping people about my love life. I know it's bad but I guess that's the only way of keeping their mouth shut. I don't know when the actual wedding is going to be and with whom (I did not DARE to think..it gives me goosebumps) but definitely I will let my friends know. But only the closest ones. LOL.

A Concert

I went to a concert of a very prominent singer/icon last week with my brother and his girlfriend. It was my first concert of him that I went to. Lucky for me I've already adjusted my on call timetable waayyyy early..haha. I expect the concert to be great but you know what? It was AWESOME!!! It was beyond my expectations and my brother and I really enjoyed ourselves although our seats way up high but fortunately he acknowledge his fans even though we are far away. Yay!

My brother and I grew up with his music so listening to all of his songs brings back memories. Even reminds me of the times when both of our parents are having conflicts. I must say it's not enough for me (or even for the rest of his fans) that night. I wish the concert will never end. I just love his sarcastic comments. I don't know why some people detest him. Maybe because of his nationality? That's totally irrelevant to me. Listening to each of every lyrics has a deeper meaning married to a melodious piece of music. If you listen with an open heart maybe you'll understand. Regardless of some somewhat bad reveiew admonished him that he ought to talk less and sing more but I don't care and there's nothing wrong for him to talk because it's his concert for goodness sake. People may talk trash. But his fans will stand by him, no worries.

Until today (tonight) the jubilant atmosphere of the concert still lingers around my mind. I do enjoy it very,very much. Most importantly he sang my favourite song - Suatu Masa. Wish someone would like that song for me on my wedding day (haha). I know I might might have a cold exterior but can I not show my 'jiwang' side once in a while? :)

Life as it is

Why did I find a sad story as my muse to write? I wonder..I wanted to write when I was angry about my work just what had happened last week but still I couldn't force myself to write about it. Maybe my hatred toward that woman-wannabe person is too, too much I'm afraid writing about 'it' might dirty up my blog post. So that's probably why I couldn't write about him/her..I don't know...Who cares.

But today is different. I have learned that a good friend of mine has just lost her father today. Not too long ago she contacted me again after a year since I left the Firm. I knew something was wrong and true enough she broke up with her boyfriend of 2-3 years (perhaps). Lost him to someone whom she called a friend (go figures). So goes the story of what had happened that leads to the break up. She seemed happy then when she realize that we all still love her no matter what happens. When I heard about her lost, I symphatized her. The fact that she had to go through all the pain although it might differ to what she had felt when she broke up with her boyfriend. I maybe nearly lost a brother but she lost her father. And nothing could bring her father back. So I offered her my condolences and she can turn to me if she wanted someone to talk to anytime she feels like it.

Then another sad story about the body of a missing wife were found in a unlikely place in a foreign country also makes me feel a little bit down this evening. Reading about what had happened to the deceased I did not want to try imagine it how she had felt at that time. Must be painful even for the deceased family. How can people be so cruel. Not to mention about a 6 months old child being thrown away into the dustbin by her own father just out of spite of his wife. How could he? 

But then again talk about other people's problem, ours are just the same isn't it? 

A Clean Slate

This is going to be the last post for the year of 2008. So many things has happened throughout the year with so many things has been left unsaid. Maybe it's just me being too sentimental. Funny to think that I still couldn't come clean with myself on certain things and the fact that 2008 is going to end soon. I probably should've just let it go in the first place. But I guess I just didn't want it to. I still wanted to hold on a false hope although I know there's no point in it. Wish I can let it out but I'm too scared to do so because if I did I must bare the consequences myself. But then again I think I don't mind of getting hurt by someone or something that I care so very much. 

This year has been kind and unkind to me and my family, it also has changed my point of view of life - to be more kind to myself and others and to appreciate others more and not to take things for granted because you never know what you have until it's gone. We'll never know what's the future is like for us.  As for me I will take it whether if it's good or bad I'm sure it'll teach me to be a better person. To learn to just let it fly. Like a bird.

Happy New Year 2009 + Salam Maal Hijrah 1430 + God bless.

 

Untitled

I just finished uploading some pictures of my brother's car at the car workshop somewhere in Klang. The reason I did it is because somehow I felt that out of this accident everything started to change drastically. The better for my brother..and I have no idea about mine. The impact out of this tragedy is so great I will never ever forget. The pain, the frustration, the agony, the torment.

It is because that time I just started working in a new place. Barely a week and everything turns topsy - turvy. I still remember how difficult it was trying to adjust myself in the environment where everyone is very 'Malay' to the core. I am a Malay myself. But their kind of Malay at first looks intimidating,if u get my drift. I find it difficult to get along with one of the senior MLT. Always finding fault with me whenever she got the chance. I did not know whether she knew of the trauma I was in at that time. Now eventhough everything is fine but I will remember how she made me feel for the rest of my life. 

The day before I'm writing this blog a consultant came up to me and started to bombard me with her dissatisfaction with the TSH statistics that I've gave to the nurse-in-charge. Saying sorts of things all the nonsense trying to blame the lab and of course me. I just took over the workload, statistics and such and NO ONE was there to teach me. This job was supposed to be done by a senior MLT but he gave just one of stupid reasons to escape from being responsible that he was too busy with his office work that he got no time to do some bench work. I was not angry of the consultant that much. I couldn't care less about her situation as she too did not care about mine. But somehow I feel humiliated by that senior MLT's remark - It's not my job, he said. Men..no not men..I blame the administration..regardless which kind of the administration we're practising. So, there it goes another 2 people added in my list to hate/kill..whatever.

So, looking at the pictures of the 'deceased' car, I never knew that the car was my brother's pride and joy. He was at his happiest to actually owned a better second hand car (he likes second hand cars) unlike the car he had before. Mum told me that he did not cry but just stand there and look of what has left the car. Poor, Abang. I felt like crying when I heard that from my mom. Who knows maybe he's the one whose hurt the most when our parents parted. But on the bright side, he's got my new car, he can use whenever he likes until he's a full fledge aircraft whatever. 

In the end, having said all those stuff about listing people in my list to kill. I really hold no grudges towards anybody. It's not worth it. Makes me feel miserable. I only said those things just for the sake of it and not keeping it inside. It's because I learn to forgive and forget and let it go. Well, maybe not the 'forget' part.

Mugged

Just when I thought my day was bad enough (no heart to dwell into that) another idiot came
to me to con me into giving him some money. While I was waiting for my mum at the LRT station, I saw a boy around 15 - 16 years old walking past me and as usual I often listened to my iPod while reading a book to avoid unnecessary conversation with strangers but somehow I forgot to bring a book with me that day. Looking at the boy I had feeling that he might bring trouble to me and true enough he did. He turned around and walked back to where I'm sitting and ask me how far the distance from Kelana Jaya to KL because he was thinking of WALKING back to KL. I was like what the hell? So he told me his sad, sad story that he had left his wallet in a taxi when he got off at the Taman Bahagia LRT station. I guess I should just write parts of conversation between me and that boy. Enjoy :

Boy : Kak, tumpang tanye, jauh tak dari sini ke KL?

Me : Jauh. Nape? *ahh,sudah..*

Boy : Tak, pasal saya nak jalan kaki ke KL dari sini.

Me : *..apekejadah ko nak jalan dari sini ke KL..*Muke slenge*

Boy : Kak, mintak tolong boleh tak? Nak mintak tolong hantar kan saya ke Cheras.

Me : *banyak cantik muke ko..*Mintak maap la dik akak memang tak leh nak tolong pasal akak tak lalu situ..lagipun akak duduk jauh..*Muke slenge*

Boy : Bukan ape kak..dompet saya tertinggal dalam teksi kat LRT Taman Bahagia tadi..saya tanye staf kt LRT tuh, diaorang pun tak leh nak tolong ..diaorang cakap saya kene call ayah saya la mintak tolong amik saya..

Me : Abis tu nape tak call?

Boy :Saya tak ingat nombor telefon ayah saya..

Me : Tak kan satu nombor pun tak ingat?

Boy : Nombor telefon semua dalam dompet saya yang tertinggal tuh..saya mane ingat nombor baru saya..

Me : *pelik..tak kan ko tak de handphone..budak darjah 1 pun dah bawak handphone pegi sekolah lagipun ape kene mengene nombor telefon baru ko ngan nombor telefon ayah ko* *Muke tak paham*

Boy : Kak, mintak tolong boleh x? Mintak tolong pinjamkan saya RM 5?

Me : *muke tak puas hati**sah nak kapor duit aku..*Mintak maap la dik akak pun ade RM 2-3 jek dlm purse..(which is true..I'm too lazy to withdraw my money that day..I got a free ride to LRT station and I use Touch n Go instead.)

Boy : Tak kan tak de langsung?

Me : Tak de..

Boy : Tak pe lah kak. Terima kasih.

Me : Same2! *good riddance!*

I saw the boy gave another look at me before he left. I was so pissed at some facts:

1. If it's true that he's genuinely need help he should've consult the officer working at the Taman Bahagia LRT station instead of walking 1-2 kilometres to Kelana Jaya station.

2. The fact that he couldn't remember the important numbers he SHOULD'VE remember it in case of emergency.

3. If he's really in need (if he doesn't have phone numbers amnesia) he could've ask for a 20 cents just to phone home. I would gladly give him my 20 cents!

4. Why didn't he ask for help from the other 2 girls whom he should've seen them before he walk right pass me? And why on earth he couldn't find another grown up men to help him out? Surely he must have walk pass through the mamak stall full of grown up men on his way to the KJ station.

5. He's a boy for goodness sake if he can come all the way from Cheras by taxi, why couldn't
he do the same going back home? And pay the taxi driver right after he reached home..his mum
must have some money right?

6. Doesn't he have any brain to think? In the time like this? I'm sure if anyone in his situation surely y'all already have a full set of plans to act on. Unless, of course you were born with the brain 'defect' i.e.; misplaced inside the knee cap, maybe born with no brains at all, blablabla..

Luckily that boy left right after I was about to launch a full blown nagging session. I
thanked my mum for telling me a similiar story which she had encountered while still working in Penang. Fortunately for that men, he walked out 'wounded' after being verbally tortured by my mum which is an expert in sniffing out bad aura out of strangers (credit to my evil dad) and the very next day my aunt nearly fell victim to Mr. B-tard. My aunt being a kind hearted (funny, she's hardly being kind to her own siblings) insisted to change her RM50 note HERSELF in order NOT to cause any trouble to that 'oh-so-poor-guy' had saved her from being mugged. Being a failed mugger so, Mr B-tard make his way to Lala Land right after my aunt finally managed to change her RM50 note.

I couldn't care less if that boy was really in need. To me, he should've known better to be prepared in a case like this. In the era of pre teens sneaking behind their parents to watch porn, acting like adults, get caught up in the most stupid situations..why on earth, you didn't bring your handphone with you? If the battery is dead you could always visit the nearby handphone whatever booths. But my only regret is..I couldn't nag to the boy right away. Besides, didn't I see him somewhere before? He seems familiar looking. Isn't he's the neighbor's son beside my aunt's house?

Snow Flower and The Secret Fan

This is my second time reading Lisa See's work, Snow Flower and The Secret Fan.

Her works totally blew away with her mesmerizing words and flawless way of story telling. I accidently stumbled upon my first book from her work, Peony in Love when I was rummaging through a bookstore trying to find a great book to read and I never regret of buying the book. I always love Asian Literature because it's something I can relate too and being half Chinese also drives me to read her book.

Being illiterate in Chinese customs and such, reading Peony in Love at first troubled me because I thought it's another book about women-heartbroken-died - a very typical kind of storyline. But going along with the story I was wrong and I enjoyed reading it very much. It's a nice story. I like it when women were potrayed as strong,intelligent yet still a woman not a she-man. 

So, I bought another book also by the same author titled, Snow Flower and The Secret Fan. This time I couldn't really fathom what was the book was all about. What is it about the reversal of fortune is all about. Reading it reminds me of my relationship with a once a close friend of mine. 

I'm a loyal person (I think most of us are loyal too). I thought what we had was a really beautiful friendship which I hope it to lasts forever. It's true that a relationship will go haywire when there's a third person exists whether the person exists intentionally or not plus with a set of secrets untold and a pack of lies. A perfect recipe for a complete annihilation of a relationship. 

I guess there's no need to dwell on the past. I also have no intention to pick up the pieces of the lost friendship. It may sound childish but I am not as noble as Lily as she redeem herself by taking care of Snow Flowers children after she had died and live a long life of regret. But what happened between me and her is a very different story. Nothing like Lily and Snow Flower. Therefore, I let it go just like I let go of everything else that I could not grasp. I did not want to be a part of anything that would link me to her. I wish her well, I forgive everything she had done to me and really would like her to just stop harassing me and let me live my life because whatever that comes from her was just a lie. An absolute lie.